{ 03 } hey there little red riding hood

[socoolbrewster]

[Immediately after the conclusion of this.

Hello Barge! There's currently an escaped wolf cub running around the Barge.

He may or may not answer to Ed. Either way, he thinks this is AWESOME.

Feel free to run into him.]

Comments

[scentbombed]

Well, of course I'm not him. I'd have to be a him, for starters.

[And although this little cub is just a pup, she has to hope he at least has enough sense of smell to tell that much.]

Why would I be Jerry? He's... a vampire.

[socoolbrewster]

I know.

[Of course he knows; he knew that to begin with. There's an edge of defensiveness there.]

Haven't you ever read Dracula?

[He doesn't know how much he's allowed to give away, so he'll be vague.]

[scentbombed]

Dracula...?

[Someone had mentioned that name to her, hadn't they? Was it Buffy?]

It's a book? What's that got to do with anything?

[socoolbrewster]

Vampires. They can be mist or bats or wolves if they want.

[Or rabid gremlins. Whatever.]

Are you one too?

[She smells...off somehow, like More-Than, but she doesn't smell like a vampire. It's weird.]

[scentbombed]

What?? No they can't! -- Well, bats, sometimes, but not wolves!

[This comes out as a snarl; she literally could not sound more offended if she tried. STAY OFF HER TURF, VAMPIRES.]

[socoolbrewster]

They can! ...I can, anyway.

[...And Jerry. Obviously. He snarls back, except he's only little, so it's not quite as impressive a thing.]

[scentbombed]

You're a--

[Well, that explains the smell.]

Ugh, gods! Turn back right now.

[socoolbrewster]

What? NO. Fuck you, I can be a wolf if I want.

[...Also he doesn't know how to turn back. So. He's stuck right now anyway.

He growls in annoyance and tries to make himself bigger. HE WILL FIGHT YOU FOR THE RIGHT TO BE A WOLF IF HE HAS TO.]

[scentbombed]

Excuse me?

[Tiny vampire wannabe-wolves do not swear at Angua von Uberwald. She takes a step closer, growling low in her throat.]

[socoolbrewster]

Damn right.

[Grrr. He will hold his ground, for now at least; HE IS A BIG SCARY VAMPIRE when he's not busy being a puppy.

Really.]

[scentbombed]

[Oh, for-- no, she is not about to tolerate this. Not from some vampire who's practically a newborn anyway.]

Oh, just shut up. [And in one bound, she's next to him, and has the thick scruff of his neck in her jaws.]

[socoolbrewster]

[NO NO STOP IT WHAT ARE YOU--

There is a writhing and unhappy cub in your jaws, Angua. He's also spewing as many unpleasantries as he can think of because SCREW THIS NOISE.

Although it sounds like pained whining to anybody else listening.]

[scentbombed]

[Ew. He even tastes like vampire. It's tempting to throw him into a wall drop him down the stairs, but after a second's thought, she has a better idea and begins trotting down the hallway, still carrying him.]

Mrr gng oo ee urr afherr. [This is supposed to be "We're going to see your master," but, well, mouthful of vampwolf.]

[socoolbrewster]

Put me down, you fucking skanky bitch. I'm not going anywhere with you.

[...This would probably be more effective if he were larger. As it is he just continues to twist around, snapping his jaws and trying to bite whatever's in reach.

Might want to make it quick, Angua, his time's almost up anyway.]