Anybody who thinks this is just asking for a horror movie, raise your hands. I vote somebody grabs a camera and we do the Blair Witch, Paranormal Activity thing. It'll be great. We'll just need to figure out the victims and who's running around creating the horror. Any takers?


[A/N: Enter Ed Jeffries, the kid who plays Ed. He's brand spanking new to the acting gig; he got the bug in high school and got a few roles as the Awkward Nerd, until a family friend filmed him doing a riff on Renfield of Dracula fame for fun, sent it in to the director on a lark, and the rest is history. He's thrilled to finally be playing a villain for once, a guy who actually gets more focus than the ten minutes to establish that "yes, this kid is AWKWARD", but he's trying to be super-chill about it. ...Really.]

So for all you flooded guys? I know you're out there, I've seen some people acting pretty weird. Just relax and enjoy it, okay? I promise we won't tease you too bad once it's all worn off. ...At least, I won't.

And for everybody else, just take it easy on 'em. It's not their fault they're playing opposite day, just give them a break.

If anybody needs a hand for anything, just let me know; it's getting kinda boring in this neck of the woods so I could use the busy work.

[A/N: Ed's Affected, as some of you may have noticed already; instead of his usual snarky, truculent self he's been replaced with Captain Helpful (which extends to sharing as well as actually doing things), so feel free to take advantage of his sudden urge for usefulness!]

[VIDEO - public]

[Annoyance. Amusement. Loss. Alone. Hurt. Hungry. Without the structure of more human thoughts they're a jumble, stronger than you'd expect, more raw. Basic.

But outwardly he just looks a combination of irritated and amused.]

Just...stop it. All of you. It's bad enough I can smell you, now I have to see it too? What. the. FUCK.

You look like rainbows. It's kind of ridiculous; if I laugh at you it's because you look like Glenda the Good Witch.

It's like I'm lost in fucking Bath and Body Works.


[A/N: Ed is gloriously Affected, and is currently both a receiver and a transmitter. Have fun!]

Well that was pointless.

[There's an Ed giving the camera a very unimpressed look, though he's unsettled underneath; not obviously so, but those particularly adept at reading body language could pick it up with relative ease; he has the ragged look of someone who hasn't slept in days, a certain tenseness of muscles and looseness of movement that speaks to pain of some kind, though he's trying to spackle over it all with his usual cocksure attitude.

Anger seems to help.]

Like "I'm sorry" actually helps. Fuck you. Anybody who actually liked having Captain Douchenozzle around raise your hands high so I can murder you in your sleep.



[A/N: feel free to assume you (or the replacement) ran into Brewster while he was around; I dropped the ball in terms of bothering people, sooo I'll either backtag that or handwave depending on what's most convenient.]

Okay, so I'm not sure how this works, but. I guess I'm here for Evil, that's what the guy said. Or why I'm here; I'm still not quite sure what the deal is but it looks like I'm not the only one in that boat.

So uh. I'm Charley, and I'm pretty sure he'd be pissed if he knew I was here, but somebody's gotta, right? And I figure I owe him anyway.

[He rubs the back of his head, more than a little uncomfortable, but hey. It's the least he can do, come here, talk on his behalf or whatever; it's not like Adam can, and they were closer than Evil and Adam were anyway.]

Now's probably the part where I'd ask to talk to his warden if he had one, but it doesn't look like he does, so...if there's anybody who's looking out for him, I guess.

[PRIVATE to Peter Vincent]

Hey, man. So. Warden, huh? Who would've seen that coming, right?


[A/N: Obviously, Ed's affected! Brewster's pulled from after the end of the movie, so...yeah. Got nothing else here.]

Wow. Just...wow. Admiral, props to you. Seriously. This is like something from some weird, really bad B movie.

Or maybe Freaky Friday. The one with Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan because she was cute before she turned into a crack whore.


[A/N: Ed is affected! Only about halfway though; he looks like a girl, but his mindset's all him.

Although honestly it would be pretty difficult for anyone used to Ed(ie) to say she's not herself; they act the same, from speech style to outlook to preferences, the only major difference is that Ed is NOT A GIRL.]

Wow. Ninjas. Seriously, guys? That's practically late night fare all by itself. Great entertainment. And to think I thought this place was going to be boring; I take it back, it's all Kung Fu all up in this bitch. Practically serialized. Bravo.

[PRIVATE to Jerry]

See? No waves.

[Head pat nao, pls?]

  Heyyy, what's shakin', bacon?

...See, it's funny because you're food. Just a bunch of walking milkshakes. 

[He snickers, a slightly unhinged little laugh, and it's clear that aside from the deathly pale skin and too-dark glint of his eyes there is something seriously Not Right about him. You may have seen him in the hallways earlier, he was skulking around for a few hours before deciding to post something.] 

But anyway.  I'm getting a very...Jason X vibe here.  Maybe Alien: Resurrection.  It's interesting.  Kinda cool.  Dark.  I like it.

[Evil leans back in the chair, as relaxed as a tiger stalking its prey from afar, and smirks. Behind him you can see a room that looks almost stereotypically "nerdy teenage boy"; movie posters from just about every horror movie known to man paper the walls, interspersed with ones for various video games and the occasional map or hand-drawn attempt. The only thing that doesn't quite seem to fit is the large wooden crate stuck in the middle of the room.]

Chuckles, you out there? Because if this is some kind of fucked up newbie hunter joke I am so gonna kill you. And it's gonna be messy as fuck.